i have been thinking that this blog is probably going to be quite boring, because, well i'm just not that exciting...even in mexico. i still do the same old things day in and day out, i'm just living in another country and don't really understand the language. when i told a friend this today she told me she was interested and wanted to read all about it. and so now i write another post.
the thing i want to talk about the most right now is that i have been alone in my house ALL day. no joke, after our morning rehearsal ended my roommates went to a friend's house to watch a futbol game, drink beer, and eat pizza. i declined my invitation because yesterday i did something that made me feel terribly irresponsible and i had to make up for it today. see, it's only been about 100 degrees out lately and all that sun and heat seems to do is force me to take an afternoon nap. i do not think i am kidding when i say that i have taken a nap every single day since i got here. i haven't been able to help it!! and yesterday i felt like my nap cut into precious practice and reedmaking time. so today, instead of getting to know people better, i went home and spent some quality time with my reeds and bassoon. i am super cool. (it is also important to note that i TURNED DOWN an opportunity to drink...who am i?!?!?!?!)
today was the first day i've profiled cane since i got here and apparently suitcase travel makes profilers get a little out of whack. so what i intended to take 30min-1hr actually ended up taking 2hrs because i had to adjust my profiler. and i'm not sure if i'm happy with it. i guess i'll find out once this batch of reeds is made. having to deal with a frustrating game of set-up made me feel like i had a very long afternoon of reeds and i was SOOOO wanting to take un poco el gato siesta (a little cat nap - altho i'm sure you'd say it another way). instead i made some tea and played around on facebook for a while. then i forced myself upstairs for some bassooning.
NERD ALERT!!!!!!
i am always amazed at how comforting the milde scale studies make me feel. (can you feel comforting??? hmmm, you all get to see my terrible grammar, eh???) i'm not sure what it is about them, maybe that i've been playing them for over half my life (ohmygawd) and they just feel like home. or maybe it's something about the continuous fluidity of the technical and musical lines, or rather the striving for continuous fluidity. i admit, it's a bit weird, but they made me happy that i chose bassoon over siesta today!
sometime in the middle of that practice session a friend texted me asking if i wanted him to come pick me up to hang out with everyone. i once again denied an opportunity to drink!! (for real, who am i?!?!?!) i would later regret this because as it became dark i suddenly began to feel like drinking and not getting anything done on bassoon was a much better option than being alone, in the dark, in the house.
it was after this practice session when i came downstairs and was fumbling for every.single. light switch along the way. i had also kept our back sliding doors open in an effort to cool the place down. so now i was walking downstairs, into darkness, and an open back wall of the house. (we have a cement fence that's like 10ft tall or something around the backyard, someone would have to really WANT to get in) i was a bit freaked out. i might also add that i have yet to encounter anything unsettling here...except for a dark empty house. i was really wishing my guard dog, dobby, was here to protect me!! or that i had said yes to either of the drinking opportunities offered today!! i ended up leaving every light in the house on and locking myself in my room for the rest of my practicing tonight. it was ridiculous. for real. i mean, what did i think was going to happen? it's funny really.
my roommates are now home and i survived. i guess i might be afraid of the dark. or drug lords coming to my house for no reason (i do believe these said drug lords don't just go looking for scared girls in their empty houses, that you might actually have to be involved with the drug scene for them to make house calls, and my locked bedroom door would have TOTALLY blocked their crazy automatic rifles) and honestly i wasn't actually afraid of a drug lord, it's just something amusing to say. i was more afraid of a big, dark, and empty house. a house that has yet to feel like my home. i have only been here three days. and the entire time i've been here i've known (even in the dark) that there are three other people in the house with me. i've always been a person that likes to be on my own, not having to bother with other people or worry about disturbing them or have them disturb me. with the exception of one year, i've lived alone for eight years now. and today, for the first time that i can recall, i was anxious to be alone. and i was relieved when my drunk roommates got home. maybe this is all part of me making mexico my home...learning my comforts and anxieties and allowing myself to act as i feel. because you can never be home if you are always trying to be somewhere else.
next time, i'm going to go drinking.
and i think i'm going to set up strategic night lights.
i've always been a fan of night lights.
No comments:
Post a Comment