stop. be here now. be in this moment.

whelp, i've been here for a month already.  an entire month!!  i think time moves faster in mexico, because it does NOT feel like i've been here that long.  i've gone through times in life where it feels like time is just standing still, where the weeks take forever to get through and time just drags on and on, and all you want is for it to move a little faster.  there's also been the opposite, where i felt like time was moving so fast and there was nothing i could do to slow it down.  i'm hoping at the end of next month, being here feels like somewhere in the middle - a steady flow of time that leaves me feeling neither rushed or dragged.  so far it's been a whirlwind of a time and i'm looking forward to what the next 6 weeks contains!!

one of the things i've always struggled with is being present in the moment;  making sure that i am living in the present moment and not getting too preoccupied with what i want to have or where i want to be, but accepting what i have and dreaming big and working hard towards where i want to be.  for me it seems i am constantly looking forward to the next thing.  after high school - college, after college - air force, after air force - grad school, after grad school - finding a job.  for the past five years i have been single-mindedly focused on where i will be next, and most of the time i know i was forgetting to live in the present moment and appreciate where i was and what i was doing to obtain my big dreams.  there were definitely times when i would sit back and think "i'm not sure life is better than this, remember how this feels!"  i wish i could bottle those feelings up and put them on display in my house, because it was in those moments that i was actually "here now" and living in the present moment and unconcerned with what might happen next and just enjoying the life i had.  if i had them on display i might remember to find these moments more often.

so i'm working hard here, not just as a musician, but as a person trying to be better.  and trying to live each and every moment of this wild adventure that is life.

when i was in college i used to wake up way early every morning to go for a run before beginning my day.  it was such a wonderful time of day for me.  i would meet a very good friend of mine (who now has three children under the age of 3, two of those are twins!!  she's pretty much super woman) we would run and chat and enjoy the day before the rest of the world was awake.  i often tell people that those early morning hours are my favorite time of day, altho i'm way too lazy now to see them.  but there's something so special about being awake and outdoors at a time when most of the world around you is still asleep.  it's an absolute beauty that can't be described.  the days here get hot really fast, so i've started waking up early(ish) to run.  a couple days ago i woke up and wanted to stay in bed, then i looked out my window and saw this:

let's take a closer look at the sun:

the sun was still behind a thick veil of clouds, and looked so beautiful.  i wanted to tell everyone i know to hurry outside and see the sun before it rose above the hazy clouds and began it's daily duty of cooking the people of culiacan, but i knew at 6:30am no one would appreciate my exuberance, so instead i put on my running clothes, laced up my shoes, and headed out the door to experience a part of the day that was just for me. 

and the entire time all i could think was "stop.  be here now.  be in this moment."